Disappointed in Myself

I really ought to carry a camera with me all the time, just to visually capture my fellow Baltimore-area residents. Especially the older ones. They're so funny.

And I don't mean funny like the 75-year-old lady I once saw trying on extremely low rise Earl Jeans in the open Loehmann's dressing room. That was scary funny. I wouldn't wish that image on anyone else.

But today, I was at Home Depot and parked next to an older lady wearing a neon orange faux Adidas sweatsuit. Imagine Ben Stiller and sons in The Royal Tenenbaums - but the color of a construction road sign. Maybe even brighter. As she grabbed an (orange) cart, I wondered if she dressed to coordinate with the store. If so, very hot. So much respect from me.

Then, fifteen minutes later, I was driving through the Trader Joe's parking lot when I spotted something even more ridiculous looking. A man in his late 60s or early 70s coming out of TJ with a gym bag wearing a faded jean jacket, even more faded cutoff jean shorts and a dirty white sweatband. Where was he going, I wondered? To work out? To remodel a house? To single-handedly bring jean-on-jean back to the US? Then I realized I was staring and should probably stop because he could very well have guns in his bag.

What a good morning.