"Swords for 200, Alex"

In an effort to brush up on his knowledge of every single thing that ever happened ever prior to his upcoming Jeopardy tryout, my brother has been reading some sort of book on cultural literacy. I mentioned that he should also review the periodic table and some sciencey stuff. But now I realize the advice I should have given him: some of that time would be wisely spent memorizing the SNL Celebrity Jeopardy skits. Here they are.

If Tom makes it on Jeopardy, I expect him to work really hard to be funny, rather than lame, as is the standard, while he's talking to Alex. I am fairly certain a Sean Connery impression would be appropriate, though it should be a slightly subtle and obscure, to avoid being rude and unfunny.

In addition, I would like to hear the words "no talent ass clowns", or even NTAC, coupled with "my sister and her friends won $1000 in a bar trivia tournament - despite entering several weeks late."

Or even just a simple "Glen Stolfi has weird fingers."

And possibly a "my sisters and I have beaten my parents at holiday Trivial Pursuit twice in a row, making our record 3-50ish."

So much opportunity in those few moments on the Jeopardy stage. Not to be squandered.